Victim Mentality Doesn’t Need to Be Shamed
Victim mentality is often used to shame people who have been harmed. This piece explores why that framing fails, and how healing begins without blame or bypassing.
One of the first realizations you’ll encounter in awakening, and one that often takes the longest to fully untangle, is the idea of “victim mentality.”
And you are a victim—just not in the way you thought.
Short version:
You did this to you.
You chose everything.
You created this mess.
I know. It’s enraging.
In spiritual spaces, you’re often told to stop being a victim because you are the creator. At first, it feels like you're being mocked or attacked. It can send you into a denial and shame spiral. It can make you want to walk away from the whole awakening process altogether.
Because how are you supposed to confront your pain while being told your pain is your own doing?
You will move through many iterations of processing this:
The slap-in-the-face beginning.
The crying-on-the-floor middle.
The mirror-work harassment era.
The ego-berating-itself phase.
Eventually, you soften into something like, “Fine. I’ll try the perspective on. Just to see.”
